I am not a subordinate cardinal

Habit isn’t something I reach for, for explanatory power. Belief, on the other hand, captures it. My old school gives you a string of numbers at a domain separating you from everyone else, for an email address. Here, I am simply one amongst the rest. Yet I still insist on attempting the domain ‘student’ when logging into my academic inbox; I still don’t believe that I am no longer subordinated as a cardinal number, that I am recognised as more-equal. They stamp you. Others from different institutions are alarmed to hear of it: “but what about…your name?”

They would never give me soundthief@…..ac.uk

Resistance and lacks thereof

Simply put, I’m only resisted for sake of being guided. That is also the same thing as saying that I am no longer being looked at with puzzlement as to what I am saying and why. Indeed, I am home where I have never before settled. Today I was given a quote from a philosopher the quoter couldn’t recall the name of, but it was so much as to say that to philosophise is to be homesick. Apt, insofar as I have fled for being sick of having no home and knowing home could be elsewhere; there’s always been another intellectual community I knew I was better off in.

No home is as good as such without our apprehending our having been welcomed in some way. Even animosity can be comforting if that is homely for us. I say so from the standpoint of having thrown away that manner of home-making. Here, there is peace: between the home I strive to make and the home I’ve been welcomed into – on and off campus.

Quentin Meillassoux is a lot of the chat in Europe these days; he seriously shook up critical philosophy without abandon and we are compelled to respond to what he has achieved and failed to do.  Faut le faire, and I was indeed reluctant at first for the threat he bore upon my beloved phenomenology. But he never done the Discipline the justice of a full account and he would have helped his own cause if he had, I reckon. But the exciting part – aside from his own cutting into critical philosophy – is that I’ve read most of his ultimate conclusions elsewhere already, and that shall be the essay…

Whatever my self-directed project shall be it begins with Husserl’s Logical Investigations and then on to Ideas, perhaps via The Idea of Phenomenology and Thing and Space. I’ll decide as I go, having slaved over hundred of pages. I am beginning with Husserl out of seizing the opportunity to sit down and learn it at long last; as an act of home-making. Faut le faire